His Obnoxious Highness and the Lord of the Beasts
by IDespiseTragedy
Summary: In a world where Romario was a fairy godfather and Kusakabe was the captain of the royal guards, a beast-tamer named Dino chanced upon a peach containing the obnoxious Prince Kyouya. Shounen-ai alert.


Disclaimer: None of _Katekyo Hitman Reborn!, Momotaro, Jack & the Beanstalk, Cinderella, The Woodcutter's Axe, Legend of the Red Thread, The Firebird _orother stories alluded hereis mine

Warning: Beware of intentional anachronisms in this fairy-tale parody AU

Credit: Thank you very much _Torataro_ for such a speedy, yet high-quality beta reading

Cultural Notes:

_Gakuran_ = The dark-coloured jacket with high and rigid collar and big brass buttons, worn together with straight-legged trousers of matching colour as a set of Japanese male uniform for many middle schools and high schools

_Denka_ = Your/His/Her Highness or Your/His/Her Royal Highness (honorific for a prince/princess or crown prince/princess)

_Seiza_ = The traditional formal way of sitting in Japan, achieved by kneeling on the ground, folding the legs underneath the thighs, while resting the buttocks on the heels

'Trapezium' in British English means 'trapezoid' in American English and vice versa.

Author's Notes: 

I employ the use of British English for this particular fanfic (hence, 'enquired' instead of 'inquired' and single quotation marks for standard speech).

Imagine Dino & Hibari in _chibi_-style. ^_^

Happy birthday, ceasefire! Aww, you're so lucky to share the same birthday as Hibari.

* * *

**His Obnoxious Highness and the Lord of the Beasts**

_The legend of the beautiful beast tamer and the beastly prince arises only in the minds of fans, in the current absence of Dino and Hibari's canon exposure. Before the time of its recounting, countless words shall have bustled, and fanfiction authors shall have drained their ink supplies, and novel plot ideas shall have come forth. I tell the tale as fans shall tell it beneath a cosy lamplight, while resting my elbow upon the desk where a box of butter shortbread and a mug of frothy hot chocolate lay in wait._

Once upon a time, in a cottage by the edge of the forest of ancient yews with their encumbrances of verdant foliage, there lived a kind-hearted but sloppy young man named Dino Cavallone. So beautiful was he that it was said his eyes rivalled the lustre of chrysoberyl and his smile, the resplendence of the dazzling sun. Yet, it was his keen sense of smell and hearing that won him over his day-to-day wrestles with the wild beasts. He earned his living by training wild beasts and then selling the domesticated animals to circus owners, entertainers, and ordinary families who wanted pets.

One morning, while walking on the riverbank after gathering a basketful of fruits, Dino noticed an oversized ripe peach floating on the stream. Dino grabbed a twig and procured the peach from the water. On the first bite, however, his teeth stumbled upon something tubular as hard as metal. The young man continued opening the fruit, taking extra caution not to break too much. Much to his surprise, a boy, no larger than the size of his fist, was sleeping at the centre of the peach. The miniature boy wore a black _gakuran_, with a red prefect band encircling his right arm, and a tonfa in each hand.

Poked by his rising curiosity, Dino touched the tiny thing. Instantly, the boy opened his eyes, dark as his hair and defiant towards the disturber of his slumber. The strange creature then bit Dino's index finger without hesitation.

'OUCH!' cried the beast master.

With a look of great annoyance, but a tone as calm as a placid river, the boy rebuked Dino, 'One more yelp and I _will_ bite you to death.'

'You can talk?!' In his astonishment, Dino lifted the boy from the peach shell to admire him from a closer range.

Nonetheless, the boy did not appreciate this treatment. He jumped from Dino's open palms and landed two swings of his tonfas on the man's forehead, leaving conspicuous bruises.

Dino was halfway yelping in pain again when he remembered the boy's immense hatred for noises. He closed his mouth, swallowing back his cry and leaving a single tear at each corner of his eyes.

The miniature boy ignored him and looked around instead. 'Tell me, peasant: Where am I?'

'Uh, on the bank of Serchio, the third longest river in Tuscany…?' Dino replied uncertainly. Why did this miniature creature address him in such a high-and-mighty manner?

'Those sound like earthly names.'

The confusion that clouded Dino's face grew more conspicuous. 'Why, of course. This _is_ earth, isn't it?'

The little boy looked up at the sky now. 'Damn, it's a long way home.'

Although it puzzled Dino why Hibari measured the distance of his home — wherever that might be — vertically, rather than horizontally, he offered, 'If it pleases you, rest awhile in my cottage.'

Hibari's eyes narrowed momentarily. 'You invite a stranger to your dwelling? How careless can you be?'

Dino paused, but then his mouth opened to a grin — a flashing display of brilliant white teeth. 'My name is Dino Cavallone. Since you sprung from a peach, could it be that you are Momota—'

'I'm Hibari Kyouya,' interrupted the little boy tersely.

'Happy to make your acquaintance.' With that, Dino extended his hand for a handshake … though, judging from their size difference, it would be likely that even the tip of his finger was too big for Hibari's entire arm. 'Now that we are strangers no longer, will it please you to visit my cottage?'

There was a conspicuous sign of displeasure on Hibari's face, but all the same, his expression indicated that he had no better option. 'Fine. Lead the way.'

It was wrong of Dino to expect Hibari to sit docilely on his shoulder — his benevolent offer was answered with a deadly glare. The haughty Lilliputian chose to struggle to keep up with him, puffing one operose breath after another. Of course, being so tiny, the boy still needed to run behind his guide's ankle even though, out of consideration, the 'giant' had slowed down his normal steps.

What was a short walk to Dino was no less than a marathon to Hibari; the little wight was out of breath when they reached the man's cottage. It was a small edifice of meagre masonry with a thatched roof to shelter its content from the hail of snow and the blazing summer sun. Yet, some of the morning dew lingered and so the grass glittered on the ground. The flanking linden trees were in bloom, their foliage swaying in the breeze. The birds chirped merrily, while the squirrels and moles did not hide themselves at the sight of the golden-haired human.

'Water!' Hibari panted his demand as soon as Dino opened the door for them.

Promptly, the charitable host reached for the jug on the table at the centre of the room —the only room in the cottage. He frowned, however, when he was about to pour the water into a wooden goblet. He took a spoon instead, laid it on the table and said, 'I think this will be more appropriate for someone of your size.'

Hibari voiced no complaint; the crater of the spoon, where the water gleamed to tantalise his dry throat, could accommodate his entire head.

'Would you care for something to eat?' Dino tilted the osier basket of fruits he had managed to gather earlier that morning so that Hibari could inspect its content with ease.

'You herbivore!' muttered the guest upon seeing the lack of meat, even though he (eagerly) accepted a piece of apple Dino set aside for him.

_Wouldn't 'vegetarian' be a more correct term?_ 'Ah, sorry Kyouya. I cannot bear to slaughter animals since I train them, and their kin is like family to me.'

Hibari glowered. 'How dare you act so familiar, calling me by my given name like that!'

'But Kyouya, if I used your family name, maybe your parent or sibling would come over my threshold,' replied Dino jokingly.

'They won't rise from their graves just because their names are called.' With that, Hibari bit a large chunk of his apple, filling his mouth to its full extent.

It was not an act of excessive hunger, Dino noted, but a disinclination to talk about the subject further. He had lost his own parents and two siblings in a boat accident when he had still been a little boy; thence, he knew how much the mention of family could hurt an orphan. Albeit he wanted to express his sympathy, Hibari — the orphan who tried to appear stronger, tougher and more ruthless than what nature had truly moulded him — would resent any form of blatant pity.

'Hey Kyouya, would you like to see me at work — taming wild animals, that is?' It was not much, but it was all Dino could think about to divert Hibari's attention.

Hibari said no approval whatsoever, but since he did not disapprove either, Dino went on with his plan. The animal of his choosing was a lion today. The beast tamer moved his whip in a terpsichorean pattern, one rapid twirl after another, leaving him with impregnable defence. Gone had the Dino the dork; all that remained was an alien being with so fluent a movement that his radiance shone from every direction. It was Dino's strength that subdued the lion, but it was his gentle heart that earned the beast's loyalty.

When the night had blanketed the firmament with its vespertine shade, they returned to Dino's humble cottage once more. Hibari glanced at the corner of Dino's cottage, whereupon a humble bed was vested, and made his enquiry, 'Where am I to sleep?'

Dino smiled; to him, their humongous difference in size dissipated the awkward barrier of two healthy males sharing a single bed. 'Upon this bed, we are to pass the night.'

There was an unmistakable twitch in Hibari's expression, but he did not fuss about this arrangement. Hence the three of them — with Dino's pet turtle, Enzo, included — rested upon the same bed.

Three weeks passed so swiftly, during which, Hibari watching Dino tame the animals had become a routine. Hibari also took a liking to small animals, and one particular yellow bird was attached to him more than the rest. He named the fluffy thing 'Hibird' and the avian volunteered to give the Lilliput a ride on his back whenever travel was required.

Nevertheless, when Dino woke up one morning on the fourth week, he could not find Hibari. He searched every nook and cranny of his little cottage, then carried on to the thickness of the forest. Still, his diminutive friend was nowhere to be found.

At the bank of the river, the exhausted Dino groaned, 'Oh Kyouya, where in the world have you been hiding? I used to live by myself, but then I have grown accustomed to your presence. Now that you have come and gone from my life, what am I to do against this emptiness inside my heart?'

POOF.

A middle-aged man appeared out of nowhere, his black suit glittering in the sunlight and his feet hovering a few inches above the ground. 'I am your fairy godfather; call me Romario.' He adjusted his spectacles. 'Now speak to me, my child, what evil has brought you such a distraught state?'

'O fairy godfather,' sniffed Dino, 'No evil has done me wrong. 'Tis the loss of one I care most that has robbed me of all earthly joy.'

The dark-haired fairy cast him a knowing smile. 'Rejoice then, for I shall bring him back to you.'

With a single swing of the fairy's wand, a figure appeared out of thin air. His body was bare, apart from below-the-knee black boots with shape of the panther's claw, black gloves that draped up to his mid upper arms, panther's ears and … a panther's tail dangling from the base of the spine. The boy's face was none other than Hibari's, but his behaviour — licking his lips sensuously and even wiggling his bums in Dino's direction — could only indicate otherwise.

The panther-boy encircled his neck with a leather collar with chains dangling from its middle. Then, he purred, 'Train me, master.'

Dino turned his back and wiped as much blood as he could from his nostrils. Unfortunately, the spurts would not abate.

'F-fairy godfather, this is not the Kyouya I know!'

'Oh?' Romario replied in a very casual tone, 'What about this then?'

The second flick of his wand produced another version of Hibari. This one was wearing a sexy nurse white outfit — a skin-tight torso that pronounced the shape of his pectoral nubs and abdominal muscles, a super miniskirt that covered no more than his buttocks, and lacy panty hoses with a suspender belt.

'Doctor, it's injection time.' With that, Hibari lifted his skirt, only to reveal a special pair of lacy panties that were open to highlight his erect genitals and rear orifice.

The blood from Dino's nose-bleeding had formed little pools near his feet. The young man staggered; if this went on, he was going to die from blood loss.

'Fairy godfather,' he managed to speak in a weak voice, 'he is also not the Kyouya I know.'

Romario sighed. 'Very well. Is this the one?'

The next sway of his wand did not create another figure, but a huge crystal ball instead. In it, Dino saw Hibari wearing his usual gakuran, in the middle of a fight with several monstrous purple hedgehogs, their stupendous needles shooting out mercilessly. Although Hibari's agility prevented him from receiving their fatal blows, by the look of his laboured panting, he would run out of stamina soon. Worse still, no one would likely to come to the lad's aid while he was in the sequestered by such gigantic trees.

'Ah woe, Kyouya is in mortal peril! Fairy godfather, I must go to his rescue. Tell me where he is and how to go tither, I pray.'

'Listen well, my child, the one you seek is none other than the crown prince of Namimori Kingdom. Namimori had been under an enemy's siege, but the prince's loyal retainer concealed the sleeping prince inside a peach and sent it to the human realm. It's a land above the clouds, which he reached by means of magic beans that grew into a gigantic beanstalk overnight. Unbeknownst to you, he had conquered a bear and sold him for five magic beans. To ensure that you would not follow him, he had left while you were sleeping and then cut down the beanstalk.'

'Wherefore? Why did Kyouya not desire for my presence by his side? Does he not trust me?'

'Well, the prince has his pride. Surely, more than anyone, you know he would not want to look unreliable so as not to be able to conquer his opponents without help.'

'But it would please me so greatly to be of assistance to him.'

Romario sighed. 'It is his desire to appear competent and charming, _especially_ to you.'

Dino opened his mouth again to ask yet another why, but the fairy beat him into it. 'Now, rather than asking me why, you should make haste. He is fighting formidable monsters even as we speak.'

_Were you not the one who showed me the strange versions of Kyouya earlier?_ Dino wanted to say, but held his tongue.

Romario cleared his throat, obviously guessing what was in Dino's mind. 'At any rate, child, I have a gift for you.'

He waved his wand in spiralling motion, creating lustrous dust that swirled and swirled until they solidified into the form of a most enchanting horse. His body was pure white, but his mane, tail and wings were of golden flame. No harness restrained his stately figure.

Upon noticing Dino's anxiety, Romario assured him, 'Those with a gentle soul such as yourself need not be afraid of Scuderia's blaze, for it is a holy fire that will burn only the wicked. Mount this sky horse and he shall take you to Namimori without fail.'

Henceforth, Dino hopped onto the horse's back. As the horse and his rider were going to take off, Romario halted them. 'Ah, wait. In appreciation to your honesty, I should also give you the two versions earlier, so—'

'No, thank you.' Dino spurred Scuderia with his heel and the white horse flew into heaven's open arms. Romario, who stayed on the ground, heard Dino's voice from afar; it grew more distant with every syllable. 'One Kyouya is already hard enough to manage.'

It took less than a minute to convince Dino that Scuderia's back was the most natural spot in the world, a place that was designated specially for him. As much as the blood of a beast tamer ran within his veins, Dino had never experienced such a smooth ride. The sky horse felt like an extension of his own limbs rather than an entirely different being.

At first, Dino was thrilled by how the serene white clouds were ethereal to his touch and how the rush of the wind aided him to reach his destination faster. However, the higher Scuderia took him, the thinner and more irrespirable the air became. Struggling to breathe, Dino felt his vision turning hazy. He did not know how long he could last. He was at the brink of swooning. Every passing second tormented his lung more gravely…

Yet, it was a different story once Scuderia passed through the clouds, up, up, and —WHUMP!

The rider and his winged horse surfaced from the sea of fog. Emerging above the foamy, white clouds, Dino found himself inside a colossal bubble that encased the entire topography like a snow globe. In this way, air was preserved. The beast master inhaled deeply, relishing the ampleness of oxygen once more.

At the centre of the bubble, stood a multi-tiered Heian castle, surrounded by a lofty fortress and a moat, provided a notable landmark. When Dino saw it, he began to wonder whether to depart tither. Romario's tidings claimed that Hibari was a prince, and, by logic, he should dwell in the castle. However, the recent crystal ball gazing revealed that he fought the monstrous hedgehogs outdoors. Judging from the copious amount of trees, the battle was taking place in the woods.

Dino was about to ask the white horse in case he knew Hibari's whereabouts when he noticed a scarlet thread looping loosely on his little finger and its remainder dangling in the air, stretching farther than his eyes could behold. The beast tamer raised his eyebrows. He was not even cognisant when the thread had started to ensnare him or whence it had hailed. Nevertheless, he resolved to follow its course.

Every flap of Scuderia's wings brought Dino closer and closer to the castle, where the scarlet thread led. As he flew, the people below would halt their activities, craning their necks from the windows or sliding the _shouji_ doors open to stare in awe. At length, the sky horse landed lightly on the slanted trapezium roof adjacent to the top floor of the castle's west side, his equine shoes making no din against the clay roof tiles.

'Simply open this whenever you require my service and I shall never fail to make obeisance to your adjuration, master,' bade the horse before he vanished into thin air, leaving Dino with an ornamented box in his palm.

'Thank you, Scuderia.' Dino inserted the tiny cube into his pocket.

The golden-haired beast master jumped over the balcony railing and slid the closest door open. It was obvious that the doors here were designed for those with a shorter built; Dino had to bend while reaching for the round finger catch. Before him stretched the most splendid room his eyes had ever beheld. Its floor lined with green _tatami_ straw mats, the spacious room was nearly four times as big as his cottage. Yet, in spite of its grand size, the room was scanty of furniture. There was a low writing desk, a cushioned legless chair, a free-standing lantern and a cabinet for documents, but those were all. Aside from a calligraphy scroll hanging on the wall and an earthenware trough planted with _bonsai_ on the alcove, the only decorations found in the room were the superb chrysanthemum carvings on the perforated panels of the _ramma_, which filled the space between the lintel and the ceiling.

Guessing that this must have been Hibari's study, Dino proceeded to the next room. The black lacquer border of _fusuma_ door slid softly on the top and bottom wooden rails to admit him.

Midmost the next chamber, which was no less commodious than its predecessor, laid a _futon_ of which quilt was made of the richest of silken embroideries. Thereupon the prince rested. Much to his amazement, Hibari was of the same proportion as normal people. Hibird perched on his outstretched hand, chirping the usual '_Midori Tanabiku Namimori no_', his timbre euphonic, but his tone melancholic. Even the little bird knew there was no more hope for his master.

On both sides of the futon lined a few men — Hibari's most trusted guards, no doubt — bearing mournful look for the imminent cataclysm yet to come. These men wore the same gakuran as Hibari did, bar his prefect band.

Rushing to the futon, Dino asked, his voice laced with panic and his handsome countenance drained of its colour, 'Kyouya, are you in pain? Did the monsters do this to you?'

Hibari opened his mouth to answer him, but his voice was too weak to reach the level of audibility.

The guards, alarmed at Dino's unprecedented arrival (and upset by his lack of decorum for not removing his shoes, standing — rather than bowing — before the prince, as well as addressing the most important person in the country too casually), hastily rose to their feet to arrest him.

'Wait, the stranger's finger is connected to Denka's by a red string!' cried what seemed to be the captain of the troops. He was the man with a regent hairstyle, who was sitting _seiza_-style on the tatami.

The other men turned their gaze to the stranger and gasped at the view; the 'Red String of Fate' was said to be the divine proof that connected two souls as lovers, regardless of time, place and circumstances.

Perplexed though the guards were that their lord's destined soul mate was a male, they had greater concern. Thus, the captain of the guards explained, 'No, Kyou-_Denka_ defeated the gigantic hedgehogs. Well, actually, there is only one of them. They multiplied whilst in battle, but returned into a singular being afterwards. Owing to such a great teacher Denka found on earth, he has even managed to tame the hedgehog; the beast has become his docile pet now.

However, the late king's sworn brother, who intends to usurp the throne, took advantage of the hedgehog's attack and sent a bewitched mosquito to inject a certain virus as well as a curse into Denka's bloodstream. The curse would bring Denka's death in twelve hours whereas the virus weakened Denka significantly from the moment of infection. Well, it was he who sent the hedgehog in the first place. Last month, the creature ran amuck, and, in order to protect Kyou-Denka, I bathed him with some shrinking potion and concealed him inside a large peach—'

But Dino's eyes flashed. Without preamble, he grabbed the captain's collar. The previously amiable deportment vanished from his lineaments, ousted by smouldering menace. Murderous aura was exuding from his pores as he asked, 'Did you say "_bathed_"?'

The captain swallowed hard. 'A-ah, "sprinkled", I mean.' Then he added as an afterthought, 'With his clothes still intact.'

'Oh.' Dino released his grasp, his expression brightening considerably. 'Do carry on.'

After clearing his throat, the captain resumed his explication, 'Unfortunately, Koschei the Deathless discovered my action midway. Before I could find a safe harbour for my prince, I had been compelled to cast the peach away to the earth below.'

'Now I have learnt the origin of Kyouya's descent upon earth as well as his diminutive size. But I am yet to learn how to defeat someone of deathless nature. Tell me more about him.'

'Koschei came from a faraway land in the north, where snow is everlasting and frost bites the tender skin of luckless travellers. When he had first come to this kingdom, he had moved us with tears of entreaty, and my late king received him in the court. Ever since, he had done the king so many great services during the war and in times of peace that the two of them pledged a brotherhood. But heir good relationship changed when Koschei attempted to ravish the wife of a soldier. He was reprimanded, of course, but he did not change his evil course. Next, he targeted the wife of a farmer. Then the wife of a pedlar. Then, even the late queen herself.'

'That execrable wizard! He aims to lay his filthy hands upon Kyouya next!' Dino clenched his fists.

'Not in that sense, sir. He had never shown any orientation towards those of the same gender as himself. He does, however, want to obliterate the royal lineage, just as he did to the king and queen when she rejected the wizard's advance.'

'Perfidious fiend!' exclaimed Dino.

'Anyhow,' continued the captain, 'Having so numerous an enemy at hand, Koschei created himself an immortal soul, which he stored inside a magic needle. He will remain deathless so long as the needle is not broken. Unless Koschei's immortality comes to an end, I assume there shall be no cure for Kyou-Denka. Alas, no one knows where the needle is hidden.'

'I know, I know.' Enzo gently scratched his claw against Dino's chest. He did not actually speak in human tongue, but the beast master understood his intention nevertheless.

Holding Enzo by the shell, Dino lifted the turtle from his neck strap. 'You know the location of Koschei's needle, little fellow? Will you lead the way?'

Again, Enzo answered with movements, but Dino had no problem in comprehending his pet.

'The maximum record for holding my breath under water, you ask?'

'Well, I tamed a dolphin once, but that was a long time ago. I know not if I can still survive for six minutes without breathing.'

'All right, we will just have to try it, won't we?'

With the last sentence, Dino ran towards the balcony and jumped over its railing, straight into the moat below. The guards looked in awe and exasperation, their outstretched arms still suspended in mid-air. The foreigner's action was too quick to be stopped.

Once on the water, however, Enzo, who formerly had fit in his palm, now inflated to the size of a fishing boat. The sponge turtle kept his shelled back above the water surface whilst swimming, but warned Dino that later, at the underwater cave connecting the moat with a lake, there would be times when they were required to dive.

The cleanliness of the moat was Dino's sole consolation. The water gelidity soaked his garments and induced shivers all over his body. He took a deep breath, preparing himself for the dive yet to come. The darkness of the underwater cave disallowed him to see any object, and he could only squirm when the wavering algae vellicated his skin.

Dino panted for breath as soon as Enzo resurfaced on the lake whereupon an islet floated. A lone hut occupied the islet, resting upon a gargantuan chicken claw-shaped rock. Next to the rock was a single oak tree, underneath which an iron chest was entombed.

'This chest served as vault for a hare,' admonished Enzo, 'Inside the hare, a duck is hidden — magically enchanted so that both creatures stay alive in the absence of food and air. It is inside the duck that an egg containing the needle of Koschei's immortality laid.'

Dino cocked his ears to pick any sound of heartbeat and sniffed for the scent of any living being underground before digging the correct spot. Since the chest was entangled in the tree's plenteous roots, unearthing it was no easy task. When, at last, he managed to wedge the chest open, the hare nearly bolted away. The beast master tied the hare with his whip and tickled the creature vehemently until she coughed up the duck from her stomach. Next, the duck endeavoured to fly off, but Dino secured the fowl with his mighty whip again. The beast tamer prodded his finger into the duck's rear orifice. The following minute, an egg came out from the hole and clattered on the ground.

After releasing the hare and the duck into the wilderness and washing his hands in the lake, Dino inspected the egg, which was made of pure gold and embellished with coruscating jewels. Unlike the case with the iron chest, the golden egg was equipped with a more intricate lock, which thus indestructible by sheer force. Hence, Dino carried the egg into the hut, hoping to find a knife or a piece of wire for lock-picking.

On Dino climbed the claw-like slippery rock — a treacherous ascent that demanded legerity and sedulousness. As soon as he reached its peak, however, he became discombobulated by his inability to find the entrance to the hut despite having circled it thrice.

Again, Enzo instructed him, 'You must tell the hut as follows: "Turn your back to the sky, and your front to me." I cannot tell the hut myself since it only accepts human language.'

The moment Dino complied, a door revealed itself. ' Thence, he asked his pet, 'How do you know so much about Koschei?'

Yet, Enzo hushed him, 'Make haste; break the needle before Koschei finds you.'

Albeit the door itself seemed nothing out of the ordinary, its handle was a mouth filled with sharp teeth. Thus, Dino extracted a tangerine from his pocket. (He had meant to eat it at lunch, but his restless quest for Hibari made him neglect the fruit.) Careful so as not to touch the pointy, fang-like teeth, Dino fed the tangerine to the mouth, which gulped it ravenously.

A few seconds later, the mouth spitted out the fruit, partially-masticated, and let out a high-pitched howl, 'IT'S SOOOUUUURR!'

Nonetheless, the door swung open to grant Dino access. The first room he stepped in was the eeriest place he had ever been. Some unholy ceremony must have taken place there; cryptic scriptures of diabolism, goblets of ill-smelling liquid, a dagger embedded to the decapitated head of a goat, among other countless unidentifiable objects filled the room.

The hair on Dino's nape and arms stood on end. He picked a stray wire and began to work, wishing to get away from the creepy place at the earliest opportunity. Just as he opened the golden egg lid after several minutes of strife, a silky voice startled him from the door behind. 'Magnificent, isn't it? I designed it myself.'

Dino's breath hitched. His nose had never failed him in catching the scent of any approaching creature before, but Koschei had no scent at all, as though he did not belong to the living. In his surprise, he dropped the egg, though not before he had snatched the needle, dreading lest the newly arrived man conjured it away from him. The man was tall, yet skeletal in stature. His sunken cheeks made him appear as someone who had not eaten a scrape of bread for weeks, but his eyes, pushed back far behind their sockets, were glinting so lively with malice.

'Not so fast, young man!' exclaimed the older man when he saw Dino attempting to bend the needle — the needle that was as thin as the strand of a baby's hair, yet contained the immortal soul of the mightiest wizard of the land. Unlike his previous greeting, there was a surge of panic in his voice. His confidence to win over his opponent through persuasion was half gone.

He took a sharp breath, and then displayed a forced smile. 'I am Koschei the Deathless. With my power, all the riches in the world can easily be yours. Just hand me that needle.'

He paced the room in a casual manner, but Dino was aware that the wizard attempted to close their distance — not that Enzo would let him. From behind, the gigantic turtle gripped Koschei's neck with its teeth. Notwithstanding the blood that streamed down the wizards' nape, there was no slightest trace of fear in his expression. All who were present knew he would not die from it; Enzo's bite was merely a restriction to move to freely. Meanwhile, the beast master bent the needle at a larger angle. Contrary to its feeble appearance, the needle had the robustness of a rotund bole.

'Relinquish the needle! If you have no slightest interest in treasures, there are always other things to cater your desire. There is nothing in the world that I cannot give. Wine or women perhaps … name your wish, young man.'

Dino did not even bother to look at his speaking adversary. He focused his entire strength to destroy the needle, but the thin metal would not budge. 'No, thank you. The one I love is a man — well, a boy, technically.'

There was a pause in which the wizard doubted the functionality of his ears and the beast tamer struggled with the obstinate needle.

'Oh, I see,' remarked Koschei as soon as he managed to find his voice again. 'But to love such a youthful body of the same nature as yourself must be quite challenging, I dare say. Would you not like my charms to take care of his parents and yours?'

'That would not be necessary. They are all no longer in this world,' replied the golden-haired man, his attention still monopolised by the magic needle.

'Weeell…' Koschei drawled the word in a pretentiously bored tone, 'There must be something that you do not have in possession. What about a present for him? Does he not like a bird in a golden cage, a steed that can run faster than the wind or a sword fashioned only from the rarest materials and bedecked in diamonds?'

'Nay, Kyouya has everything he needs except his own health right now … but that can be arranged when you meet your demise.'

This time, Koschei stroked his pointy beard in a poor attempt to hide his mocking laughter. 'Kyouya? Hibari Kyouya? You are enamoured with that obnoxious brat? A prince though he is, have you not thought of the possible treatment he will give you? With my magic, you can partner yourself with a more pleasant candidate. I can modify any boy's facial feature to resemble that impudent prince's, should you wish.'

'I love only Kyouya; whatever will be, will be.' Dino's knuckles had long gone white, his fingers sore, his muscles exhausted. The needle persisted.

Yet, one thing that managed to snatch Dino's attention was his own voice. It was not the voice he emitted, but the sound of it was indistinguishably similar. The voice said, 'Ahh, my lord, please forgive me; I do not think I can produce more today. You have milked me dry for the previous cup of tea.'

It was so slavish, flirtatious and wanton at the same time that Dino's jaw dropped. He looked at Koschei's direction, and his eyes widened with shock. Before the wizard was the exact replica of Dino in a skimpy French maid's costume, decked with all the necessary ribbons and laces. He was seated in a chair, each thigh tied to the opposite armrest by red satin sashes, so he was wide open for Hibari's pleasure. No undergarment covered his modesty; instead, a harness of leather and metal coiled around his manhood and was connected to his waist via narrow straps. Next to the chair to which he was tied, stood a trolley containing a pot of tea, a cup and saucer, spoons, a sugar bowl, honey, lemon and tiered trays that hosted a rich selection of sweet and savoury pastries.

Hibari's manifestation, who knelt between Dino's thighs, seemed rather _preoccupied_ in making trails of bite marks on the taller man's inner thighs — or at least, his mouth was. As for his hands, that was a different case. His left hand travelled up and down Dino's thigh, while his right hand reached for Dino's rear, holding a long, bulky object that kept vibrating in the clutch of his fingers. Dino could not actually see what went on in details because Hibari's head and shoulder were blocking his view, but it was not _that_ hard to imagine.

Dino — the real one — gasped. Would he truly emanate that sort of moan when Hibari was in charge? More importantly, did Hibari even fancy him in this way? The shock had granted him the renewed strength to snap the stubborn needle into two. Enzo loosened his grip. The lifeless body of Koschei collapsed; his pulse was no more. The illusory version of Dino and Hibari disappeared. Yet, Dino, whose cheeks blazed crimson, was still staring into space and mumbling. 'If it is with Kyouya, maybe…'

'You have freed me from this fiend's curse. You have my utmost gratitude.'

The voice was unfamiliar, but not unkind. Dino turned sideways, looking puzzled at the presence of a man, a quarter of a century older than him, with whom he had never crossed eyes before. 'What curse? And may I ask who you are?'

The stranger cast him a benign smile, his cheek forming dimples as he did so. 'My real name is Benvolio D'Arco, although you have begun calling me "Enzo" since you picked me by the river, three years ago. I used to be a spice merchant, but then Koschei, who had his eyes on my wife, burnt my house in my absence after she refused his woo. Having lost my family and everything I owned, I intended to kill Koschei. Alas, I was no match for him. He transformed me into a sponge turtle and left me at the mercy of bigger fishes. Koschei's curse could not be undone, not unless he met his doom.'

'Oh, poor Enzo … I mean, Benvolio,'uttered Dino with glassy eyes.

'Call me Enzo. "Benvolio" reminds me on many things that are too sad to be remembered. You see, Dino, after all these years, I have begun to see you as a son whom I can no longer possess; my eldest child would be around your age had Koschei never torn my family apart.'

'Then you should remain by my side, Enzo.'

'Yes, master.'

To make long story short, Dino and Enzo's return journey to Hibari's castle on Scuderia's back remained thankfully uneventful. His heart was beating wildly with anticipation for their rendezvous. How would Hibari express the gratitude for saving his life? A kiss on the cheek or a hug, perhaps?

Yet, when Dino slid the gold-and-black fusuma open again, everything seemed no less grievous than before.

'Why is Kyouya's health not restored even after the author of his misfortune perished?' The tears that Dino had thought would become his tears of joy turned out to be the tears of despair.

'No, Kyou-Denka's mortal peril has been lifted thanks to you. Denka would have perforce died by midnight because of the curse Koschei had placed on him,' replied the captain of the guards.

'But why does the extremity of languidness and pallidness was still visible on Kyouya's countenance?'

'It was the other disease that inflicted him. Remember when I mentioned the mosquito that bit Denka in the midst of his battle with the hedgehog? The virus inducted the Sakura-kura Disease, which affects only the ones whose veins flowed with royal blood. There is only one cure for—'

'Kusakabe, leave me alone this instant!' Hibari's voice was firm and sharp; it did not sound in the slightest that it came from the mouth of a debilitated person.

The subordinate looked abashed, but gave his lord a courteous bow. The rest of the guards, and even Enzo, followed his lead. As the captain of the guards closed the door behind him, Hibari commanded, 'And prepare a set of extra-large bridal attire.'

Before Dino could ask why, Hibari turned to him with a patronising look. You'd better accustom yourself to sit seiza-style for a lengthy period.'

The beast tamer blinked in confusion, as the prince approached him and knelt by his side. Dino's Adam's apple bobbed up and down as five smooth fingers caressed his cheek.

'It's the way the bride is seated during a Shinto wedding ceremony.'

Seconds passed before the power of speech returned to Dino. 'Kyouya, does this mean… Good heavens! But you did not even ask for my hand in ma—'

Dino felt a yank on his tunic, pulling his face into a bump with Hibari's. For a moment, his eyes widened, but then he accepted the kiss with unbridled joy and returned the enthusiasm with equal eagerness.

'Any objection?' taunted Hibari as soon as their kiss ended, his lips curving upwards in triumph and his wan complexion flushing back to its original colour. To the rest of the world, it might be a cocky smirk, but to Dino, it was the sweetest smile Hibari had shown him thus far.

Above the clouds, Hibird flew towards Romario and perched on his shoulder. 'Aw, that's thoughtful of you little one. You have come here in order not to disturb them, have you not?'

In response, the bird rubbed his fluffy feathers to Romario's fingers.

'Still, I think I did a good job ensuring Dino found the peach where your master was sleeping. Only a true love's kiss holds the cure for the Sakura-kura Disease, and now that he is no longer sick, I'd be interested to learn which of them lasts longer in bed,' Romario added with a chuckle.

Thus, they all lived crackly — oops, happily — ever after.

THE END


End file.
